FYI :
I am haitian-American
My mother is bi-racial born to whi French-Canadian mother and blk Haitian father
My father is full blooded blk Haitian
I identify with my haitian heritage as that is the food I eat and only other language I can speak besides english.
I was born and raised in NYC so I am a badass city girl ( I'm really a mushy marshmellow)
I have my first son from a previous relationship by a Cuban-Peruvian father
I was born Catholic and went through many religious phases before I found Islam (Alhumdulilah)
As you can tell I come from a varied and diverse background, I also grew up in a city which promotes that kind of enviornment.
My hubby on the other hand
Is Full blooded Egyptian
Born to Full blooded Egyptians
Born as muslim in a semi-homogeneous enviornemnt
Never questioned or went agaisnt the status quo
Comes from a small quiet subarb outside of Alexandria
Never had any previous relatial experiences when we married
So Boy had to travel across a varied ocean of differences and experiences to meet this girl.
Marriage is a hard complicated series of twists and turns of compromise and sacrifice throw in our completely different background and socio- economics status and its 10x harder.
But I can attest that our love in our creator has strengthen our love for eachother each step we take closer towards ALLAH(swt) he has rewarded with us coming closer to eachother. I dont see how we could have overcome our upbringings and perspectives to come together if not for our Lord.
Even though I will never be comfortable not working,still dont like the taste of dates, had difficulties distancing my good male friends,and may never get used to Amr Diab.
I am starting to love Roz Bil laban, get comfortable in my role as a housewife/mother, learned how to cook like an egyptian and now consider Musr my second home, and I must say cutting my hours to part-time has increased quality of time with my children and husband.
Even though he wants me to be a full time housewife, cut off all relationships outside of family and female friends, dos'nt like plantains, and is an A type clean freak.
It endear me and make my heart melt to see him go for second when I cook Soup Joumou ( Haitian dish), I do cartwheels in the inside when he puts hip-hop and rock on his Ipod for me, and I could die laughing when he goes to the pharmacy to buy my relaxer and pantene pro-v for women of color conditioner lol.
P.S. he dos'nt understand why we even need a seperate conditioner, I had to explain to him that our hair is different. I am proud to now say that my hubby is an expert in blk hair care products.
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Awwww sister! This was so cute and inspiring to read. God bless your marriage and family.
ReplyDeleteFrom everything I've heard it's very difficult for a western woman to marry into an "Arab/Eastern" family. Props to you and your husband for beating the odds!
I was laughing when you said he doesn't like plantains. LOL really platanos are so sweet and delicious 1 of the best things I could have for breakfast along w/ cream and some beans yummy!
Right now I'm going through being "reviewed" by a Pakistani family for their son. Actually getting past the fact that his mother has to see if I'm good enough is tough. That's just not something I grew up with. I just always assumed the man would see me as good enough, go ask my fam for permission, and then tell his parents...engagement of 6 months so families get to know each other and then the mariachis come out as we walk down the aisle married. happily ever after. but that's clearly not what happens when you are a convert muslimah marrying into another race/culture.
Salam Alaikom, Hunny so many of the things that muslims do are cultural and arent religious. If they can keep their culture then I am keeping mines just as long as it dosnt interfere with my religious duties. No matter if you are born muslim or revert you are still a jewel to be sought after and cherished. I actually believe that we are the lucky ones as Allah personally picked us to the deen of Al Islam even though our struggle is harder I believe the reward will be greater. Your family should be reviewing him if he is suitable enough for you I may be a bad influence for saying so but I would tell him and his mother to both go somewhere it isnt nice lol. I hope you arent offended sister and I wish you well and success and your future marriage.
ReplyDeleteamr diab is a little bit techno at times...loool
ReplyDeletetry samo zaen or fares karam
I love me some Fares Karam my fav is his song Tanoura, I like Debka alot so thats probally why lol.
ReplyDeletemashallah sis :) lovely relationship and your sense of humor too ;) I think having a good sense of humor gets you through day to day stuff or minor issues quite smoothly without blowing anything out of proportion and you definitely need that to have a happily married life :)
ReplyDeleteAn expert in blk hair care products oh my goodness! You made me laugh all night! lol
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing! :P
ReplyDelete