Juggeling Act

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls come and meet the incredible juggeling clown/mom.

Sometimes I feel like my life is nothing more then a circus show and I am the main act. This week I am swamped with " to do's". I have my PSY and Eng finals today , my mom is coming in from out of town today, so that means the house must be spotless. Friday its my turn to read to my sons Kindergarten class and make a craft, I will be reading "The Gingerbread baby" so therefore I will be baking a gingerbread house so the kids can decorate it. Then its home to make the goodie bags for my sons Birthday part this weekend because I wont be able to do it on Saturday as I have to work a double from 7-7 for the girl who wants off cause its her birthday. Then back on the train from NYC to CT so I can be home to sleep to wake up for sons B-day party on Sunday.

Anyone wants to switch lives with me between all the info/things my brain has to process, remember, do, and keep track of I feel that my brain will short circuit very soon.

West + East

Sometimes it takes a while to get my Western brain wrapped around Eastern thoughts. My cousin who is on the way for vacation to south africa with her hubby and bro-in-law called to tell me she will be laying over in ny for 2 days so she can see me and the kids. This happened to be the weekend I work and she called me 15 min before boarding her flights to tell me the plan nonetheless the gesture was appreciated and we were happy to try and accomadate them. The point of the story is we left the kids at my grandmas and treated them out to a middle eastern lounge with hookah. My cousin is 3 month preg and couldnt smoke but me hubby and the other boys did when it was my turn to pass the hookah to my husband intervened and said i dont smoke. I told him I wanted to try it where he firmly replied no it isnt good for you, I didnt want to make a scene or reinforce any thought that middle eastern men are controlling in front of a family member so I let it go. Later that evening when we were driving home I asked him why he wouldnt let me smoke to which he replied that its disrespectful to him for his wife to smoke next to him in public, Go Figure some things I will never understand about arabs.

It was nice though watching my cousin fight over paying the bill with him, by nights end they had hookah , tea, desserts, a brand new tea pot and their very own hookah all curtisy of my hubby who refused to let them pay for anything made me proud and thats one Eastern concept that my Western brain can appreciate.

Arab Soul

In the car today I found a song from Asala that my hubby put on my Ipod. Let me just say that I am so loving this chick, not an easy feat I must admit since arabic music is so concentrated with D-list bop/pop artist think Britney Spears if you must. Asalla voice is so soulful and strong just what the arabic music industry is missing. She is the Syrian mans Alcia Keys or better yet Aretha Franklin. I wish there were more of her out there in the middle eastern music scene.

Take a glimpse into the future

I was reading an article today about Afro-latins and and racism which is the due to the post-colonialism in Latin America (my light reading huh lol). Being that I am very closely related to that part of the world it got me thinking about Mi Familia roots, and I came the conclusion that we are Afro-Asiatic-Latin-European-Arab.

If you go deeper into our lineage you will see that Slaves were brought from the west Coast of Africa by the French and Spaniards who colonized the Island of Hispaniola which was founded by Columbus. My grandmother who is from Quebec is decendent of french settlers, my sons grandparents are descendent of Spaniards who were invaded by the Moors who came from West North Coast of Africa and lastly my Egyptian husband is ancient Hamitic stock that was later invaded by the Arabs from Arabian peninsula and later Turks and Greeks. I started laughing when I thought that we represent the whole world almost,so my family is officially a citizen of the world how cool is that.

Well in case you were wondering what Afro-Asiatic-Latin-European-Arab looks like here it is.

Obssessed

I am officially obssessed with blogging. Its like the pet I always wished for and never had. I go to bed at night thinking about what interesting thing I wil blog about the next day. I get tingly all over when I see I have new followers, that there are people remotely interested in what goes on this warped head of mines. I get giggly like a school girl when I see new updates from others. You out there in cyber/outer space rock I love how brave you guys are in sharing this incredible journey with us some billion others. Each of your stories are meaningful from the life changing to the mundane it is your footprint left behind on earth and I thank everyone out there in cyber/outer space for sharing.

Me and my Hijab

After reading Hispanic Muslimahs post about veiling and her experience with it I was inspired to write about my own struggle. Thank you to all the beautiful sisters and their wonderful stories these blogs inspire and feed my soul everyday.

So here goes this is my journey to hijab:

I was born and raised into a haitian catholic family, when I converted to Islam my family was not angry at me or didnt shun me but they were confused with my decision and did'nt understand why I would choose Islam . They had all the stereotypical viewpoints of Islam and muslims they thought it was violent and oppresive towards women. I was also a single mom with a son and they thought I would me judged and wouldnt be able to get married since muslims only marry virgins (lol).

I understood and respected their concerns but I was also firm and stood my ground. I was the butt of most jokes which is inevitable as I come from a funny and close knit family. I knew for a long time that it was my duty as a muslim to wear the hijab, I held off wearing it for a long time as I felt like my ties to my familial identity would be cut off as I would no longer look like anyone else in my family (in dress anyways). I was afraid of what my cousins and aunts would think and it would help in reinforcing their ideas that we are oppressed.

One of my good friends told me one day that if I was waiting to be comfortable with the idea of wearing the hijab that it would never happen, she said no one is born wearing the hijab everyone makes a choice. She told me to take a leap of faith towards my creator as there is nothing else better to take a blind leap towards, she said if I took one step towards Allah (swt), Allah (swt) would take 10 steps towards me. This was the best advice anyone could have given me, that night I went into my grandmothers room and went scavenger hunting for one of her square shawls, I arranged my outfit on the bed and the next morning I showered,dressed, and put on my hijab. I didnt even know how to put it on properly and it didnt help that it was my grandmothers square shawl. I remember looking in the mirror and thinking I look like a Russian peasant ( no offense towards any Russians). I felt so alien in my body that day I walked outside feeling like everyone was staring at me. After a month of miserably wearing and hating my hijab everyday I decided to take it off. I said to myself "why are you making yourself so miserable no one is forcing you to wear it" .

The next morning when I went out for the first time without my hijab after a month of wearing it I felt so naked and uncomfortable. I was so amazed and awestruck at the miracle of my creator. I realised that because I did something that I didnt like at the pleasure of my Lord he made me fall in love with my Hijab. I am a firm believer that if you take 1 step towards Allah (swt) Allah (swt) will take 10 steps towards you . I have since then never felt comfortable without my hijab. I cant say that old insecurities or doubts have never creeped in, but I have never since felt comfortable without my hijab.

It also helped that I stopped wearing my grandmas ugly square scarf and bought many beautifuls shaylas and pashminas. I also had some wonderful sisters and my mother-in-law as well as very informative youtube videos teach me how to style my hijab fashionably. While I respect many sisters who choose not to wear the hijab I would just like to add that it is not a choice but an obligation and like any obligation whether you choose to act on it is your choice, but hijab is Fard. I love all my muslims sisters and my friends reflect my wide choices I am BFFs with a devout sister who dosnt cover as well as one in full niqab. I respect each individuals decision to worship how they feel comfortable but in religious manners I like to call a duck a duck and not what I feel it should be.

" O prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of believers to draw their cloaks close round them ( when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful." (Quaran 33:59)

Eid/Thanksgiving

This year our Eid Adha is falling on Friday. Unfortuanately for me the man is making me working on Friday, damn Uncle Sam and American Dream of capitalism lol. So I decided since I have to work both Thurs and Fri we will be celebrating Eid and Thanksgiving on Saturday which is fine considering that the Eid lasts three days. So on Saturday I plan on making a big turkey dinner and decorating the house. Any meals plan idea will be appreciated So far I will be making Turkey american style, Rice haitian style, and salad Egyptian/Medi style I havnt decided yet if I will make Mac n Cheese or macarona Bechmel. I like our dinner to reflect our diverse backgrounds but after cooking dinner for family every single night you run out of creative energy and so new meal ideas will be appreciated. Sunday havnt decided if we will take kids to cheesy indoor play place or do something more creative. I am so happy I will be in Egypt for next Ramadan I wont have to try to make it extra special for the kids as everywhere and everyone will be show casing ramadan spirit.

Shopaholic

I am so mad that I did the kids winter shopping so early. Today is probally one of the best sales day after black Friday. I perfer to shop before Thanksgiving because blk Friday is overrated I am not waking up at 4am to stand in a line just to get inside the store and have nothing good left to buy. Anyways there are very good sales at childrensplace.com and oldnavy.com for the kids. I myself will be making my way to http://nyandcompany.com/ everything is 50% off. I went winter shopping couple weeks ago I could shoot myself in the foot the sales are way better I wish I still had reciepts so I can return. I am addicted to shopping and cant resist a good sale. My walllet will hate me for this later but a girl cant help herself. I plan on getting the items above the coat is for 35$ and velour outfit 30$. Oh someone save my from myself.

My love hate relationship

Today is the second day of my now 8th attempt to diet since I gave birth to my second son 9 months ago. Another blog today gave me the inspiration to write this post ( Thank you Muslim Mama if your reading). I figured out why my previous attempts at dieting have failed before, I will admit to something that I probally have known a long time "I am addicted to food". Kinda funny to say aloud and even read because I guess becuase people dont take this addiction seriously. They think come on how can you be addicted to food thats just silly. But like any addiction it can be just as fatal if there is no intervention my addiction to food can lead to Diabetes , heart disease, obesity and even death. So dos'nt make it any different from a drug or alcohol addiction now does it. I am hoping in facing and admitting to my addiction Ican now begin to figure out how to overcome it. Just writing these sentences feels theraputic, like I have been harboring a dirty little secrete.

I have had a love hate relationship with food my whole life, I love food and then hate myself when I over indulge in it. I remember as a little girl watching my mother spoon my fav dinner of spaghetti into my plate and being jealous that her and my father got bigger portions.. There is a caribbean idealogy that chubby children are a status symbol as poorer countrymen were unable to feed their family and the image of thin or malnurished children were all over the countryside in Haiti. So a chubby child was a siggn of your wealth and social security therefore children were overfed and always encouraged to finish everything on their plates.

I cant blame my current state entirely on this but I do believe how a person is nurtured contributes
to their personal development. Nonetheless I am leaving my past behind for a brighter and hopefully thinner future. I will keep this blog updated through this journey.

The up's and down's of our mixed love

FYI :

I am haitian-American
My mother is bi-racial born to whi French-Canadian mother and blk Haitian father
My father is full blooded blk Haitian
I identify with my haitian heritage as that is the food I eat and only other language I can speak besides english.
I was born and raised in NYC so I am a badass city girl ( I'm really a mushy marshmellow)
I have my first son from a previous relationship by a Cuban-Peruvian father
I was born Catholic and went through many religious phases before I found Islam (Alhumdulilah)
As you can tell I come from a varied and diverse background, I also grew up in a city which promotes that kind of enviornment.

My hubby on the other hand
Is Full blooded Egyptian
Born to Full blooded Egyptians
Born as muslim in a semi-homogeneous enviornemnt
Never questioned or went agaisnt the status quo
Comes from a small quiet subarb outside of Alexandria
Never had any previous relatial experiences when we married

So Boy had to travel across a varied ocean of differences and experiences to meet this girl.

Marriage is a hard complicated series of twists and turns of compromise and sacrifice throw in our completely different background and socio- economics status and its 10x harder.

But I can attest that our love in our creator has strengthen our love for eachother each step we take closer towards ALLAH(swt) he has rewarded with us coming closer to eachother. I dont see how we could have overcome our upbringings and perspectives to come together if not for our Lord.

Even though I will never be comfortable not working,still dont like the taste of dates, had difficulties distancing my good male friends,and may never get used to Amr Diab.

I am starting to love Roz Bil laban, get comfortable in my role as a housewife/mother, learned how to cook like an egyptian and now consider Musr my second home, and I must say cutting my hours to part-time has increased quality of time with my children and husband.

Even though he wants me to be a full time housewife, cut off all relationships outside of family and female friends, dos'nt like plantains, and is an A type clean freak.

It endear me and make my heart melt to see him go for second when I cook Soup Joumou ( Haitian dish), I do cartwheels in the inside when he puts hip-hop and rock on his Ipod for me, and I could die laughing when he goes to the pharmacy to buy my relaxer and pantene pro-v for women of color conditioner lol.

P.S. he dos'nt understand why we even need a seperate conditioner, I had to explain to him that our hair is different. I am proud to now say that my hubby is an expert in blk hair care products.

You know your married to an Egyptian when...

1. Their oral fixation would make Freud proud, addicted to either drinking shei(tea) or smoking cigarettes can't finish a meal without one or the other. (Alhumdulilah for me) my hubby's drug of choice is shei.

2. Everyone your husband knows sounds like a cartoon character , either know someone with the nickname of Mido, Hamada, Zezo ,Sinu or Kimo. Rounds up the ensembale cast of the Egyptian Muppet babies.

3. Introducing the Muppettes Mooni, Nunu, Nuna, Nossa. The female equivalents.

4. Any and Everything will make you prone to sickness, sleeping with the AC on, walking in the house with no shoes , or if your not dressed in the fall like a eskimo will make you sick (Astagfrallah).

5. Hell would freeze over before they would miss an Ahly ( or zamalek) In my case anyways a Ahly game. I make note to self not to have any emergency those days.

6. For a country that is so hazardous and Lasseiz Fare about following rules why do I feel like im living with a safety instructor, they will call you 10times from the time you leave point A and arrive to destination point B. Apparantly crossing the street is a life or death matter.

7. He cant say Pepsi, Prince, or Purple to save his life no bun intended (those who are married to egyptian will get it lol).

8. You spend your night and days picking up empty tea cups and seed's nuts all over the house. I think he was secretely born a squirrel he eats so much nuts.

You know that Red= blooded white= hearted and Black = tempered

once you go RED,WHITE,BLACK you cant go BACK.

That you are loved by a man who's heart is as vast as the oceam

First Post Whoo Hoo

Hey there all you in cyber/outer space. I decided I spend so much time in my housewife I should document our incredible adventure together. I am no longer my husbands wife anymore but am officially the Houses wife. Me and the house spend alot of time together. Why I cook in the house, I sleep in the house, I google in the house, I watch tv in the house, change diapers in the house you get the point me and the house get in alot of quality time together. When did this incredible journey begin one would ask? Why 3 yrs ago when me and the Egyptian husband got married and I officially became ( Sitt Beit) thats housewife for all you non-arabic speakers. So while the kid and Hubby is away Here is where I will play. I will chronicle the life of a haitan-american, hijabi, muslima, mama, student and most importantly housewife.